Redefining Happiness

So last tuesday, BEM UBAYA (student executive board) held an event called 

W A R K O P O L O G I

What is WARKOPOLOGI? basically, it's a discussion forum for Ubaya students initiated by ministry of resource development student (sounds cool right? in Indo "Kementerian Pengembangan Sumber Daya Mahasiswa" ). No, I'm not going to talk about that event. What I'm gonna write here is about the topic that we discussed : Redefining Happiness.

Happiness. 

So abstract. Very wide. Everyone need happiness, yet everyone have their own opinion about it. My happiness is not necessarily the same with you, vice versa.

But here I will share what is happiness. (for me)

There are 3 phases of life : Past, Present, Future.

For me, HAPPINESS IS TO ENJOY THE FUTURE . without regretting the past and worrying about the future,

There are a lot of people who can't be happy because they still stuck in their past. It's not easy to forget the past, especially when it's a painful past. Try to forget the pain, not the moment.

Let me give you an illustration (well, this happened to me and probably some of you) : when you break up with your boyfriend, it feels like the end of everything. And it's so hard to move on because there are so many memories of you and him together. 

It might be easier if your relationship just started for several months. But what if it had been in years? I know I know it's not easy. There are too much memories and it's impossible to forget everything so quick. 

What needs to be underlined is : forget the feeling, not the moment. 

To forget all the memories is impossible, except you suddenly got an amnesia. So what you need to forget is your feeling to him/her. You still remember each memory you spend with them, but when you remember about it, there's no more feeling, no more regret, no more 'love' for the person.

The past should be a lesson for us, but the past didn't have any power to reduce or to seize our happiness now. It has no power. Let see it from the positive side. For example because you broke up with your ex, you can meet your boyfriend/girlfriend now, that one day will become your husband/wife. Isn't it better to find your future husband/wife sooner? What if you spent too long in the wrong relationship? 

Next, how about future. I said before without worrying about the future. But doesn't mean I suggest you not to think about it. I also have a dream. 

The people around me may know that my dream is to become a future KPK leader. I'm not just dreaming, I fought and still fighting for it. Now I majored in Law, after I graduated I already planned a few things to get me closer to my dream.

But I don't worry about the future. It's okay if I don't reach my dream, there are still many things I can do for this country. I'm a human being, it's okay for me to fail.

Plan your future, but don't worry too much.

Our anxiety doesn't come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.

once again, THE TRUE HAPPINESS (for me) IS TO ENJOY THE PRESENT.

Enjoy what you've got now.

I wake up every morning literally with a smile on my face, grateful for another day I never thought I'd see.

My house isn't fancy. I don't have a lot of money. My family has been struggled for everything we have now. But I'm grateful for God's love, my loving family, and true friends.

Sometimes when I see my self in the mirror, I feel not confident because I don't have an ideal body shape like other girls on Instagram. 

I started to grumble for the whole day to the point I realized that there are many people who can't even afford a meal. In fact 25.000 peoples die each day because of hunger and poverty.

See? How we can't be grateful while we are still able to access internet reading this post? 

Remember. Happiness isn't about getting what you want all the time. It's about loving what you have and being grateful for it.

Enjoy the present. Be grateful for your life, and surely happiness will follow.

Love,

Nana

As We Grow Older

As we grow older, a lot of things changed. A lot.

Today I attended the thesis trial of  my seniors, ce mega and ce nina.When I got home, I immediately thought of writing this post. About growing old.

Lately I feel very old. haha. Probably because I had reached the age of 20 last week.

And today, when I attended the the thesis trial of ce mega and ce nina, this 'old feeling' haunted me again. hahaha. I felt like yesterday we are still in the same organization in our university, but now they have graduated. wow. That means it's my turn soon.. (hopefully!)

yapp! as we grow older, a lot of things changed. A lot. Start from our mindset, our habits, even how we perceive things or events also changed (point of view). 

Twenty isn't too old, isn't it? haha. But somehow, I feel so different since I was 20 (exactly a week ago haha). Like I told before, a lot of things changed. But tonight i'm going to write aboutt two points that changed the most (for me). Here it is...

1. Boyfriend/girlfriend's Criteria

To be honest, I used to have a very simple criteria : kind, handsome, and can make me feel comfortable. But as we grow older, good personality, good appearance, and even comfortable feeling is not enough.

Comfortable feeling is important. But got a handsome/beautiful partner is just a bonus, it's not the most important thing anymore.

As we grow older, we are still looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend first before it turns to husband/wife. But the criteria is not the same anymore. We are not looking for 'just a boyfriend/girlfriend' but we think like.. "Could he be my husband one day?", "Could she be the one that I'm gonna spend my life with?"

That's a big lie if I say that appearance is not important. It's still very important, but not the most important. But what really change is we are not looking for a handsome man or beautiful woman anymore. What we are looking for is someone good looking with a well-groomed appearance. 

Mature. This is the most important criteria added to the list. Mature for me isn't just completely grown physically, but also emotionally. How his/her response to things. Someone with calm emotion, not those who overreact.

As we grow older, his/her past is not important at all. His/her family background is also not so important anymore. What's matter the most is his/her future because one day their future will become a part of our future. "Can we build a future together?"

2. Friendship 

"As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones."

Yes. It's true. When we are still in high school, we want to have as many friends as we can. But as we grow older, we learned not to force things. We no longer want to force our self to be in a circle where we feel uncomfortable. 

And we learn to appreciate the real friendship. It's only a few people, but It's comfortable. 

Real friendship is the one that wont grow apart, even if they don't grow up together, even if they don't talk everyday. But they always be there for each other.

***

I want to keep writing but I'm too sleepy now. So I better put an end this post before it becomes more random haha. 

So let's end it with a good quotes..

Love,

Nana

How to Avoid Disappointment

It's been so looong since my last post on September 2013. wow...
My blog's name used to be "Walking with Jesus" but now I changed it to "Positive Vibes Only". Doesn't mean that I'm not walking with Jesus anymore haha. I'm just trying to write something more general... and random I guess.

So.. tonight I'm going to write about disappointment - kekecewaan

All of you must have felt disappointed. So do I...

Few months ago, someone disappointed me. (If you are a close friend of mine, you must know the story haha). But I'm not gonna curhat here. What I'm going to write is about How to Avoid Disappointment.

dis·ap·point·ment 

the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations

No matter how good you are, there's always some people who disappoints you. 

That's life. 

So from where actually disappointment comes? Yes, expectations!

"Never get to attached to anyone, it will lead to expectations and expectations always lead to disappointments."

Is it wrong to expect? Of course no. As a human being, we all have expectations.When I google the word "expectation" this Is what I got : Expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future; a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

So there's actually 2 kind of expectation. First is expectation that you can achieve by yourself (and God). and the second is expectation that need the presence of other to become a reality.

For those expectations that you can achieve by yourself (and God), u should expect big things. Like most people said, dare to dream big. This kind of expectation can also lead to disappointment. But for me, it's bearable. I can handle it.

What's unbearable is when we expect too much from someone but they disappoint us. 

It hurts, isn't it ? So how to deal with our disappointment to someone? Nothing. yeah, actually nothing. We can do nothing about that. We just have to let go and wait. Time flies. And one day, you'll wake up and realized that today my disappointment has gone. Only time can heal your disappointment. Just like when I'm writing this. I realized that a few months ago, I was so devastated. But now I can write this post like nothing ever happened. FORGIVE and let go.

Why we have to deal with it when we can actually avoid it ? Yes, we can avoid disappointment.. How ?

Do not expect too much from someone. you can still expect, but not too much :))

Just focus to make yourself better. Be a better person to them (family/friends/bf/gf/anyone). Give them your kindness and sincerity, but never expect them to treat you the same way. 

But trust me, life is good. When someone just makes you very disappointed that you feel like dying, that's not the end. Really, it's not the end. Everything is okay in the end, if it's not then it's not the end. That's what I feel now. When I truly forgive and let go of it, life gives me something even better than before.

and if you're reading this (someone who disappointed me - you know who you are) hahah. don't worry, I have forgiven you since the moment you disappoint me. Thanks for teaching me something about life.

Anticipate everything and expect nothing !

Love, 

Nana